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“The last sip of beer number three sticks to my tongue like a first grader’s glue, leaving a little bit of sour and a little bit of honey for my taste buds. I toss my head about like a dog drying itself after a swim.
‘$3.50, the liquid courage special,’ I place the empty glass next to the one that contained beer two. A few drops left in the bottom of each of the three glasses vibrate with every lead-heavy bass note that the DJ pumps out of the speakers, dancing with liquid motion like the girls on the club’s dance floor.
“Hey. Check out that girl on the left. She just gave you the biggest welcoming smile I’ve seen all night,” a friend sitting beside me in the booth breaks my concentration, “and that includes all the ones staring at our buddy behind the turntables.” He points to the girl. As my eyes follow his finger, beer three catches up to them, blending the dark dance floor into swathes of flesh against multicoloured clothing. My friend’s finger disappears. Amid the skin and fabric, I see the smile that he meant: it could wake me from a coma. “Go dance with her, dude!”
“Look, you know I don’t…” the sentence starts, but never gathers any momentum. Its last word, dance, bypasses my mouth, rushing straight to my legs and carrying me out of my seat. Less than three steps go by; by a coincidence of alcohol and a heavy beat, our eyes meet one another, and speak the exact same three words.
‘Come get me.’ “
“We live on front porches and swing life away/We get by just fine here on minimum wage/If love is a labour, I’ll slave ‘til the end/I won’t cross these streets until you hold my hand.”
So, how many of you feel embarrassed standing in a cashier’s line up with a box of condoms in hand that you intend to buy? I know there are those of us out there who have never bought rubbers, but even for those who have (and/or still do), it can be a very nervous experience.
Then you realize that what you’re holding in your hand means that you’re getting laid. So imagine that you’re the only person in the store who will be getting any. Not only will you be less embarrassed; you’ll remember why you’re buying the condoms in the first place, which is, really, far more important than what the people in the store think of you. Why be embarrassed about a healthy (and safe) sex life, right?
I find that it’s very similar to imagining a crowd in front of you without clothes, as a confidence booster for a presentation, except it’s you and your lover who are naked. What better can be imagined, anyway?
This link provides valuable information and is just a little heads up to everyone out there…
I would have hyperlinked it into the text, or done some other smart-looking thing, but Tumblr has decided that none of its advanced post editing features are going to be active right now. Please just use the link above. :)